Let Them Sleep With Their Parents, Yes Or No?

Sleeping with parents may be a necessity during the first days and months of life, but what happens when time goes a little further? How long should we let them sleep next to us? These and other questions fortunately have simpler answers than we think.

A very frequent question that parents – and especially mothers – ask themselves is up to what age the baby should sleep with the parents. Are there benefits to sleeping with parents? What is the most recommendable?

The best of sleeping with parents

Nils Bergman, a neonatologist director of the Maternity Hospital in Mowbray (South Africa) says that the baby should sleep with his mother for at least 3 years of age.

By observing the sleep patterns of a sample of 16 babies, the pediatrician and his team were able to show that babies who sleep alone in their crib have a stress level three times higher than those who have the company of their mother.

In addition, babies who sleep alone in the crib have been observed to have interruptions in their sleep cycles , something that can clearly affect the normal development of the child. Contrary to the case of children who do sleep with their parents.

On the other hand, it is necessary to take into account the stress that the time of separation can cause in the child. Once we feel that he is ready to sleep alone, we must help him to gently separate from our side, reaffirming the facilities that sleeping alone has in his own space, and at the same time, making him understand why it is important for him to become independent.

Beware of stress in the baby

We may come to think that babies never get stressed. That would be ideal, as it would be if no adult had it. But the reality is that this is impossible. Saying that a baby is not stressed is the wrong way to convince ourselves that stress is just adult stuff. 

One way to show stress in babies is through the following signs:

• Irritability.
• Bad mood.

Remember that the baby does not know how to calm stress as an adult knows how to do it, perhaps taking a relaxing bath or listening to music or practicing his favorite sport. The only relief and consolation that the little one will have will be that of his parents.

Therefore, you will have to be delicate with the separation, and make your room a space where you feel safe and confident. Helping you to be independent at rest should be done naturally and avoid by all means that the experience may be traumatic.

The final decision is made by the parents

There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to sleeping with parents. And on the other hand, advice will always be, after all, advice. Each parent knows well what is best for their child and, based on this, seeks their well-being.

Thus the final decision of whether the baby should sleep with mom and dad must be made by their parents. Some do not see this issue clearly and prefer to avoid sleeping with the child and having him sleep in the crib or in his bed.

Sudden death

Several specialists have recommended that the baby sleep alone from the beginning, and never with the parents, in order to avoid the sudden death of the baby. Although it is true that, to this day, the exact causes of this death are unknown, specialists try to reduce the risks with this recommendation.

It never hurts to take precautions when sleeping with our babies, especially if they are days or a few months old. Being in their most vulnerable stage of life, we must try not to hurt them with some movement, etc.

Within these basic rules will be to avoid:

• Have very large pillows or cushions around.
• Accumulated tiredness. Excess fatigue can cause a deficit in our attention when it comes to meeting the baby’s needs.
• Having drunk, smoked, or used drugs.

• Have pets in bed.
• Clothe the baby too much, since we can make it difficult for him to breathe.

In this way we will ensure as parents the care and attention so necessary and appreciated by our children, which they will undoubtedly appreciate in adulthood.