Instead Of Perfect Children, Educate Happy Children

All parents want their children to be happy, they want them to be prepared to take on life, to overcome the difficulties of day to day with the greatest ease and assertiveness possible, but many times in the attempt to achieve that desire, they subject the children to too much pressure and they are enrolled in a race to be the best, to be the fittest, to be perfect children.

When your children were born you met the most beautiful beings in the world, you saw them and they seemed dreamy, perfect. And they really are: your children are perfect children, seriously they are. You know it, but you are also aware that those children so sweet and so intelligent have to be prepared to function in this fierce and competitive world, in this modern world where it seems that only the strongest survive.

The awareness of the competitiveness that exists in these times unnerves many parents and invites them to enroll their children in multiple activities, and the question is not only limited to enroll them but also focuses on demanding that they be the best.

For many mothers, the proper preparation of their children implies that they have outstanding qualifications, that they know how to master an instrument, that they are prodigies of some sport, that they are clean, educated, that they always behave well, that they eat everything they need. They put them on the plate, they do their homework … They are good children, and why not, they are perfect children.

You already know: The competition is tough, even sometimes the toughness of that struggle is seen between parents. It seems that some compete to show who raises their children better, and in that kind of battle it is measured who has the best children, which children are more prepared for this modern world.

The problem is that many parents forget that children must have time to be children, to play, to get dirty, to stay in bed, to talk to other children in the park, to be happy and that’s it.

The unhappiness of perfect children

Surely you have witnessed a parent who yells at his son in the middle of a football game how he should kick the ball. If you dare to broaden your gaze a bit and open the focus of the photograph you take mentally, you will realize that close to that controlling parent, there are a few parents who are also telling their child what to do. It is the same with some mothers and ballet.

Some parents get so involved in the child’s activity that they seem to experience it through them and it frustrates them that their children don’t do what they want them to do. It is possible that in that moment of tension they forget that their children are trying their best to do well and that they are also dealing with the pressure that their parents put on them, they may forget that the mere fact that their parents They are there and it makes them nervous and that must be added the feeling that implies not wanting to disappoint them.

At that time it is good for parents to remember that their children are just children and that they are learning to play or dance and that the process of that learning should be fun.

So much demand creates frustration in children. In fact, the therapist and psychologist Esther Esteban assures that pressuring children to be the “best” affects them negatively. But it is even worse to compare them with other children who are better at some activity.

The comparisons are unsympathetic and unfair, as each one excels at what they excel at. Comparison is a subtle rebuke that sends children a message of “you are not enough.”

The expert recommends the following in one of her articles: If you think you are a parent who demands too much from your children, get in touch with yourself and ask yourself: Why do I demand so much from them? Why am I pressuring you to be “number one”? What do I gain from my child’s success? What gaps am I filling with the success of my son?

My children are not perfect children, my children are happy children

Freedom is one of the most precious assets of humanity. History is full of struggles dedicated to recovering freedom, do not be the one who curtails the freedom of your children, let them be.

Guide him yes, it is your job as a parent, but also remember that it is necessary to let your children be the protagonists of their lives, that it is vital that they decide what hobbies they want to practice and how much time they want to dedicate to them.

If there is no freedom, then it is not a hobby for them, but rather a dream that parents want to materialize through their children. It is very positive that you have that clear, that you know that you were already a child and that now it is your children’s turn. It’s good to let go of the pressure and let them be happy.

Always keep in mind that happiness has nothing to do with external factors but rather with the degree of satisfaction you have with yourself. Never forget that happiness is not achieved by amassing large sums of money, you already know that there are thousands of unhappy millionaires, also do not forget that happiness does not depend on the position you have, because you will have already seen more than one manager or owner of unhappy company.

Always keep in mind that happiness has to do with love, with the experiences that you have with your loved ones, with the fun experiences that you have, with the gestures of love that you receive, but above all, with the acts of love that professed.