How To Ask A Child Questions?

For those who are not yet mothers or fathers, the proposal seems silly or absurd. But the reality is that in everyday maternal work, asking questions of a child is an impossible mission. Well, to each question of the adult, an evasive or witty response follows.

This means that, faced with such difficulty when starting a dialogue, we do not have the necessary and relevant information that we want. Therefore, it is worth taking a few seconds to reflect on how we approach this task. In You Are Mom we explain how you should ask a child questions.

Ask your children questions: the secret is in the mode

Probably, the failure of your questions lies simply in a matter of forms. In the first instance, do not take the position of an officer in the middle of questioning. It will be convenient that you respect a calm and friendly tone that generates in the least security and confidence.

In the second instance, avoid the kind of question that tends to berate and reproach. A very general evil among many fathers and mothers. Stay patient and ask positive questions. Always remember that your ultimate goal is nothing more than to know how your child feels and what he has experienced in his day.

On the other hand, one of the great keys is closely related to the type of question to be asked. This means that it is imperative to take care of the way in which we elaborate the interrogation. If we ask a closed question, which is only answered by yes or no, a lot or a little, that is the most we will get.

On the contrary, it will be better that you carry out a preferably open questioning. In this way, you give the boy the possibility of elaborating and providing details about what you want to know. This is how you encourage your child to describe feelings and evaluate actions.

How to ask basic childhood questions successfully?

We share below those basic questions of every mother. You will see that for each topic we will indicate the way in which we usually consult in a wrong way. To this we will counter the correct way to obtain the data you need to be calm.

• How was your day?  It is not about asking specific questions like “Did you play in the garden?”, “Did you behave well or badly?” and else. Much less is it recommended to resort to negative phrases such as, for example, “Stop being silly and tell me”, “Stop babbling, speak well!” and others. The correct way would be to share what has happened in your day and invite the child to tell the events of the day. In case you find a refusal from him, don’t bother, just tell him that he can tell you later. Do not pressure him to respond, you speak and you will see the effect that this causes even in the most shy, silent and introverted child.                                        
  

• How are your friends? You can ask about a friend in particular or about a group in general. But never showing fear or rejection of certain children. Don’t even think about forbidding interaction with a little one just because you don’t know him or her. Well, in this way you will not get your son to trust you, so he will not feel safe when it comes to telling you his questions without fear. You may want to ask questions such as “What is the best thing about Juan?” or “Has Pedro done something special for you?”
• Did something new happen? Stay away from the phrase “Nothing new could have happened, stop lying.” If you don’t want to count, or you remain negative because you only remember bad events and don’t know how to mark anything good, make a special plan. Invent yourself, according to your child’s tastes, an exclusive program to share together. You will see how the child will improve his mood and will be able to see the good that life offers, in addition to opening up emotionally.

• Can I give you my help? It is not enough or positive to do things for the child without first asking if they need help. Perhaps it is convenient to show the joy and pride that comes from the fact that you want to do things for yourself, always reminding you that we will be there for when you require our collaboration, assistance or advice.

The basis is to have an ear to listen carefully to their needs, concerns and shortcomings. For this it is vital to avoid any interruption or prejudice, as well as any comment not required. Encourage physical contact at all times: kiss, hug, and hold your child’s hand constantly.