How Does A Child With Low Self-esteem Feel?
A child with low self-esteem will feel that he is not capable of achieving things, he will not look well physically and he will think that others are better than him in any aspect of life. It should be noted that there is a relatively high average of the child population that has low self-esteem. However, there are individual differences or experiences that cause children to experience low self-esteem and need help to develop it.
How a child with low self-esteem feels
Children with low self-esteem will tell themselves and others messages such as:
- I am not able
- I am a fool
- Everything goes wrong for me
- I will never learn
- He / she is better than me
- It’s not worth trying
- Why am I going to try if it won’t work out for me
- I am worth nothing
- Nobody loves Me
- I’m ugly / fat / dumb …
In these words you can capture his despair, his sadness, his lack of confidence and even his loss of hope. These are too harsh words for a child who has so much to learn in life and who has all the resources available to him.
Children who lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem feel depressed and often have no hope for the future because they believe that they will not be able to achieve it or that they do not deserve it. This is alarming, it is necessary for both parents and teachers to be attentive to the signs that a child with low self-esteem may show in order to give the necessary help.
Children with low self-esteem may feel that completing tasks like going to school is as difficult as climbing a large rocky mountain, with cliffs and winding roads. But they must know and realize that if they want to, they will only have to take the first step to climb that mountain . Each step is a battle against wind and rain that hits the body and tries to push us down. But you have to fight the elements to get to the top. Sometimes we need to stop to regain strength because we can feel tired, scared, or even angry.
While some children are capable of expressing their low self-esteem and feelings of sadness, others are not capable of doing so. Many children feel that their mistakes and failures are because of their disability. When children believe that whatever they do they will never succeed, they will be developing learned helplessness and will not perceive the light at the end of the tunnel.
Low self-esteem in children
Low self-esteem in children can be related to physical punishment or a lack of love and affection from parents. Carl Rogers described conditional love as one where people only received positive attention from significant others (such as parents) when they acted in a certain way. This reinforces the child to act in a certain way to achieve the affection of the parents, forcing low self-esteem. A child needs the unconditional love and support of his parents to feel safe and happy.
Children with low self-esteem rely on coping strategies that are counterproductive, as they grow up they can act negatively such as bullying other children, with rebellious or inappropriate behavior, lying, aggressive behaviors, avoidance, etc. Although not all children with low self-esteem behave in this way, low self-esteem can cause these behaviors to appear at one point or another.
Children with low self-esteem have a peculiar social behavior, since they can withdraw, have few friends, be shy or lack social skills to be able to relate properly with others. They may have a wide circle of friends at times, but they will be more likely to give in to peer pressure and be more vulnerable to bullying. They avoid trying new things because they are afraid of failure and will give up quickly just because they don’t feel capable of achieving their goals.
