How To Prevent Your Child From Becoming An Eternal Teenager
All parents hope that our children, upon reaching adulthood, can enjoy a full life. We want and expect them to be autonomous, independent and self-sufficient. That they can fend for themselves in the workplace, emotional and social.
However, the achievement of this objective depends to a large extent on the upbringing that we carry out with them when they are minors. If the education is not adequate, we run the risk that our child will become an eternal adolescent.
This is a fairly common situation in many adults who continue to display childish behaviors and attitudes. A trend that not only hurts themselves, but can seriously damage their relationships with other people. Therefore, if you want to prevent this from happening to your children, you have to help them through adolescence in the best possible way.
Who is the eternal adolescent?
This term is used to designate those people who do not show a coherence between their chronological age and their emotional maturity. They are individuals incapable of assuming responsibilities or taking charge of their actions. They are often very dependent on their family of origin, even when they have formed their own, and avoid making important decisions. They run away from commitment and can be both fearful and self-centered.
Another of the most prominent features of this type of personality is that their emotional management is poor or non-existent. They often show outbursts of anger and do not tolerate frustration. This can prevent them from achieving success in their work careers and in their personal relationships, as well as generating negative moods.
But where does the eternal adolescent come from? The reality is that each adult is responsible for himself and is solely in charge of reviewing his behaviors and modifying them if necessary. However, we cannot ignore the important role that parenting style plays in the development of the eternal adolescent.
An unfinished project
The base of the immature personality, of the infantile behavior, is in an adolescence that has been like an unfinished project. This dreaded stage in the lives of young people involves enormous changes; it is characterized by the search and construction of one’s own identity and, above all, by the transition from childhood to adulthood.
It is a complex process that minors cannot face alone. The love, support, guidance and guidance of parents is essential to help them close the childhood stage and enter maturity with the necessary resources.
When parents are overprotective, excessively permissive or complacent, they impede the development of their child’s autonomy. In this way, they condemn him to an eternal adolescence, to continue being dependent and unable to take charge of his own life.
Likewise, the adolescent needs to grow up with a secure bond with their parents, based on affection and support. Otherwise, you will not develop the confidence to bond with others and deal with the challenges and responsibilities of adult life.
How to prevent your child from becoming an eternal teenager?
The best thing you can do for your child is to help him complete his teenage project. Accompany and guide him in this transition to adulthood so that he does not get trapped in previous stages.
For this, it is essential to understand the psychological changes that adolescence implies and, above all, to be able to contain the young person instead of being scandalized by their behaviors and contradictions typical of age. Unconditional love, acceptance and support are fundamental pillars.
But, in addition, a balance must be struck between rights and duties in the life of the minor. We cannot deny it the independence it claims, as it is necessary for it to become more and more autonomous and self-sufficient.
However, we must establish limits and assign responsibilities progressively. With this dynamic the adolescent will learn to tolerate frustration, to take charge of their actions and to trust their own abilities. Resources, all of them, essential to face adulthood with guarantees of success.
Ultimately, it is about guiding them through a transition process that they cannot face alone and that will significantly affect their future. The effort will be more than rewarded.
