Yours, Mine And Ours, How To Live In Harmony?
In this article we will find wonderful tools to achieve a good harmony in living with “yours, mine and ours” since adapting to a new family structure is probably a complicated process.
Today it is very common for parents after living a separation or divorce to decide to rebuild our lives with another person. However, it is not as simple as it seems, usually there are children involved and we adapt with the children we have (mine), those of the new partner (yours) and those conceived in the new union (ours) it can be quite a challenge.
In some cases this coexistence becomes difficult for our children and those of our new partner, especially when they are in the adolescence stage, since adapting to new rules and lifestyle can be quite complicated, especially if they are not established. clear guidelines for the new family group.
For the new family structure and dynamics to have a good start and development, it is necessary to have patience, understanding and communication throughout the adaptation process
Any adaptation process is complicated for the vast majority of people and especially for our children. For this reason, it is necessary to seek psychological support, in order to obtain accurate tools to establish the new family nucleus.
Living in harmony with yours, mine and ours is a challenge
When we decide to live with a new partner, the members of the household are duplicated and probably the difficulties as well, so achieving complete harmony in relationships and family ties can be a challenge. However, we can obtain good results taking into account the following considerations:
- At the beginning of coexistence our little ones may reject the new authority figure. Children perceive new members as strangers or rivals. In this case, the ideal is to talk with them about respect and limits, without pressing them, to facilitate the adaptation process.
- It is important to differentiate the roles of each of the members of the new family nucleus. Above all, make the children understand progressively that our new partner has an important place in the home and that it must be respected.
- Not forcing our little ones to love our new partner and their children from the beginning. This is a process that occurs with time and with sharing pleasant moments with the family.
- Set standards for children alike. Practicing fairness minimizes conflict and consequently increases harmony in the home.
What do I do if my partner’s children don’t accept me?
It is not the same to control the situation with our children and partner, since there is a more stable emotional bond, relating to the little ones of our partner can become a bit difficult. We show you certain ways to achieve better communication with them.
In the first place, we must understand that although they are not our biological children, we must try to establish emotional ties that allow us to develop true affections. We must not forget that for them this process can become quite difficult, so it is important to achieve a gradual approach with a lot of patience and affection.
If we observe inappropriate behaviors, we should not correct them, but we can take a serious attitude to let them know that what they are doing is not correct. Our duty is to communicate it properly to our partner (in case they are not present) so that they can apply the necessary corrections that allow them to improve the behavior of their children.
Keys to living in harmony and creating bonds
Creating a solid bond in the new family structure is not so complicated, we must know that sharing good times with the family causes affection to arise between the members and harmony will be obtained as a result.
To start a healthy adaptation, we can organize once a week meetings in which we can take the children to a park to do some activity that everyone likes equally, with the aim of fostering an atmosphere of trust among our small and new members.
Living in harmony is usually complicated, even for families who do not experience a separation or divorce but understand that every change entails an adaptation process and that if each member collaborates and does their part, a healthy family coexistence can be achieved.
