Mom, Don’t Compare Me To Others
Don’t compare me to others. That should be the answer your child gives you every time you want to measure the qualities of his friends against his.
I wish all children had enough strength of character, intelligence, or insight to curb the insinuations that this or another infant is better than anything.
How beautiful the world would be if there were no comparisons and their terrible effects!
But human beings were born imperfect and so we continue to be throughout life.
The effects of comparisons
Every human being is unique. That is why it has a name, physical characteristics and fingerprints that differentiate it from the others.
Even twins differ from each other.
How then do you want your child to resemble his friends or any other child you know?
Comparison with others damages a child’s self-esteem. It interferes with your emotional state, decisions, and even your thoughts and desires.
Therefore, do not compare your child with another child, because doing so:
• You will be instilling in him that he is better or worse than the other. In the first case, you will be feeding his self-sufficiency and in the second, his inferiority complex.
• You will arouse his jealousy.
• You will convey to him the need to always be comparing himself with his peers to know how much he is worth.
• You will encourage envy. Especially when he is the one who feels inferior to the other.
• You will be stimulating his insecurity.
• Somehow you will tell him that you do not accept him as he really is and you would like him to be the way that other child is.
• You will make him a rival to that other child.
• You will be interfering with their ability to interact with other children.
• You will hurt his self-esteem. You will be making him see that his characteristics and qualities are not worth like those of that other child.
• You will make him unhappy.
You may be leading him to lie about his abilities and qualities.
Mama, don’t compare me to the others
Mom, don’t compare your son in any way. Better teach it to:
• Do not give value to the comparisons that others make about him.
• Accept and love yourself as you are.
• Being able to tell you: Mom, don’t compare me to others.
• Evaluate yourself according to the fulfillment of your own goals and objectives, not with respect to those of others.
• Admire and admit the physical, psychological, economic and emotional diversity of people.
• Be happy with yourself.
Finally, let him know that if you want him to improve in something that does not mean that you want him less.
Mom, don’t compare him to motivate him to follow in someone else’s footsteps and be better every day. Don’t set another child as a pattern.
If you want your child to be better than he is, help him by highlighting his qualities, emphasizing the importance of effort, and telling him openly how much you would like him to be.
If your friend is more organized, has better manners, or gets high marks, don’t compare them.
Better, instill in your little one the importance of being orderly in all aspects of life.
Warn him that good manners and education say a lot about a person and open many doors.
Make him see that studying systematically, not skipping classes, paying attention to what his teachers say and always clarifying his doubts will help him get better grades.
Now, not because you want your child to behave or be like another child, this means that he wants the same.
Nor in all respects he should listen to you.
For example, if you didn’t become a dancer because your legs weren’t enough for that, your daughter doesn’t have to fulfill your dream. She doesn’t have to pay for your frustrations. As a human being, he has his own desires which you must respect, accept and admire as if they were yours.
Remember that at all times you must ensure the emotional balance of your child.
Do not put limits on him, do not clip his wings and never be the cause of his misery.
You brought him into the world to live as a happy and full child. Fulfill your purpose.
